My friend Mandy says self-help books are probably the most
counter-productive form of literature after the scribbling on bathroom walls. I
think scribbling on bathroom walls is extremely useful otherwise I wouldn’t
have spent so much time doing it in school. But I understand where she is coming
from. Speaking as a self-help aficionado I have to say there are some things
which are not planetary sensitive. One of the books which stands-out in this
sector is Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People. It contains gems like be proactive, begin with the
end in mind, schedule, seek victory for all parties involved, understand then
be understood, synergize and practice. All of these seven tips are highly valid
and very useful in a world where everybody is honest and looking to help each
other. Maybe people on Pluto behave like that, but this is Earth where mankind
lives and we don’t do any of that. So I am giving you some tips on how to
survive humanity.
First of all, be selfish. We learn to “give” as children and
others learn to “take”. Those who learn how to take become even more effective
at it than the givers. This is a cycle which will continue for the rest of your
life if you do not put a stop to it early. If you have luxuries in your life
made of your own sweat, you are under no obligation to “share” with anyone who
is not a genetic by-product of yours or your father’s sexual escapades.
Secondly, never tell people what you are thinking. People
are psychologically incapable of keeping secrets. So be weary of those
constantly asking your opinion on things which are not yours to opinionate on.
For example, what your boss does over the weekend with their personal assistant
in a private hotel room has nothing to do with you, unless you have been
invited to join in.
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Stare at your monitor and do your
job. Pay your rent, put food on the
table and go to the gym once in a while. Grab a drink with your kin and do some
socializing. But NEVER get involved in anyone else’s life unless you have
entered a contractual agreement to do so (verbal contracts count so watch it
with the promises).
TRUST NO ONE! “The devil never uses your enemies to get to you, he uses your
friends”. This advice was given as proof that I was in a kind of religious school in primary
and that “letting people in” on anything in your life is the quickest way to
lose it. The only people who have any business knowing how much you earn, how to
do your job, what your techniques are and even what you have for lunch are
people who share your last name in direct blood lineage. Remember, it was
Merlin who first taught Morgan Le Fay how to trap people in rocks and he ended
up in one himself.
Finally, emotions are things you share with the people you
have breakfast with at home while morning cartoons are on. They have no
business in a boardroom or on barstools. You should be as publically unreadable
as an ancient Aramaic manuscript. Save your dislike of the government, your
paycheck and people in your life for the punching bag at the gym. If you are
asking why then please return to the top of this article and start again.
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